a report about “Skyfall” by guest blogger Alice, age 25.

I watched the billionth 23rd James Bond film. It is called Skyfall.

So, in the first scene, James Bond is fighting a baddie on top of a moving train but no one knows why. Then some girl shoots him while talking to the Queen of England M, and he falls off the train and “dies”. Still confused about this part.

So JB’s dead in some tropical place with some tropical ladies and tropical drinks, and then there is some hard drive missing and M needs him back, stat. Good thing he’s not really dead! Just really out of shape from all the tropical drinks. Back to England he goes.

In killing another baddie, JB spots a sexy lady across the way and they gaze into each others eyes. He tracks her down later and they do some more gazing at each other things. She brings him to the REAL baddie, Blondie. Blondie kills Lady for no reason. Seriously, what? What makes people think all these ladies are expendable!? If I were one of these ladies I’d kick JB’s butt, back to his tropical la-la-land.  Officially the last JB movie I watch.

ANYWHO.

Blondie is a computer hacker/terrorist person and lots of computery things happen. Kaan would probably get it better (I’m still mad about the ladies).

TURNS OUT, Blondie is mad at M cause she abandoned him back when he was an agent, and somehow made his face all gooey.

All this is basically just setting up the last big fight where M and JB booby trap his childhood house like it’s Home Alone.

M is pretty cool, she does some pretty neat stuff. Too bad she’s female so she ends up getting killed by Blondie.

Ugh.

THE END.