Apocalypse bike

After the recent earthquake in Japan emergency preparedness became a hot topic here in Vancouver. Apparently the west coast of bc/washington is due for a real game-ender quake. (The most definitive predictions I found in a quick search was 27% chance of a magnitude ~9 quake in the next 50 years – such precision!) I have overheard many people talking about their own emergency supplies and plans and our condo building even hosted a seminar that was facilitated by a local emergency supplies retailer. CBC offers advice on “surviving the moderate ones“. No advice is given for apocalypse.

My own preparations involve a bicycle that does not belong to me. It has been sitting near my building for over a year. In that time it had not moved until last month – so it is not completely abandoned. It used to be locked up by a chain loosely draped around the seat post. It is now locked up by a double wrap around the seat post. I am considering the bicycle as something I may loot if “the big one” crumples my home, denying me access to my bike in the underground parking. I would then use it to ride out of the city and escape all harm.

A few nights ago, after a libation or two, it was decided that the apocalypse bike needed a test ride. It was definitely not up to code. A cursory inspection revealed a badly rusted drive train, rear shifter housing that has been through a combine harvester, handle bars on upside down, front brake handle miss-configured and that is just the start. My cohort and I fixed the handle bars and brakes and rendered it capable of using three different gears. Then we went on a 2 am test ride. The bike was locked back in place by 9 am in slightly improved condition.

I think I may make more covert repairs to this bike. Just in case.

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5 Responses to Apocalypse bike

  1. Tess says:

    Aren’t you supposed to also add in: “And I ran X kms today, for Y.”?

    You’re addicted to reviving bikes like Alice is addicted to cottage cheese and Alpen.


  2. Scoot says:

    A fine tale. But you forgot to plug this kind fellow: Listen to Buckman Coe! …whom we came across during said latenight apocalyptic test ride.

  3. Alice! says:

    Addicted to Alpen? I guess its not as cool as being addicted to your own homemade yogourt and granola, but still….

  4. Kristina says:

    I REALLY hope that whoever owns the bike is totally confused yet happy about the covert bike repairs. It’s like… NINJA random acts of kindness, AND potential apocalypse aversion!

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